I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
