true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize