He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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