it hurts more in the daytime
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize