Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
