You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
