hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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