Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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