Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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