people are starting to question the shark bite story
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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