We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
