i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize