remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
