exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
