sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize