You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
