my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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