Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
