At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize