we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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