We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
