My sheets look like a crime scene.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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