wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
