Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
