I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
