so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
