how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
