now i know why i became what i already was.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
