girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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