my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
