we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
