Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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