I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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