Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
