He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
