So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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