Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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