So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
