Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
