sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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