In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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