there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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