my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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