Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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