they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
