That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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