I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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