I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize