well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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