three words: i give head
three words: not that well
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize