Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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