I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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