Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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