I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think my mom watched the whole time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
