"it" just moved
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
