she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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