i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
