So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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