ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
