me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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